Tomoxiflum
Our nation is in the grips of a terrible epidemic, according to a TV commercial I saw.

RLS (restless leg syndrome) a.k.a."happy feet" afflicts one person in 10. That means there are 30 million people (60 million legs) with this particular problem. I can't remember if the commercial is for a special pill, but I think it must be for some medicine.

Of course, one cannot speak of widespread highly-advertised diseases without mentioning ED. I don't know what it is about giving something an acronym that gives it more of an identity and makes it more real and more a part of the fabric of modern life.

When I was a kid, the only mouthwash was Listerine. They didn't have to compete against better-tasting products. Their TV commercials had doctors in white coats recommending Listerine as a cure for "halitosis." I only found out recently that this was not a medical term, but a pseudo-Latin pseudo-word for bad breath that an ad agency coined.

The lesson is to beware of any advertisement that has fields of flowers or concerned human beings of your sex and age. Especially if they use general words like depression, aches, trouble sleeping, weakness, listlessness, lack of enthusiasm, or "not being your old self."

The ultimate prescription medication commercial is one that shows a person out in a field of fall flowers dancing in silhouette with only the violin background music and the name of the medication with the announcer's voice saying, "Ask your doctor about Tomoxiflum," but they don't say what disease it's supposed to cure.  ¶ 10:51 AM